He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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