Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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