i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
