You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize