I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
