You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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