we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
