he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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