That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
