whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
