Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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