I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
