ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
