Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
