you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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