We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
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