my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
