Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize