Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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