Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize