I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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