I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I looked at my own cervix.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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