Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize