So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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