There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
