Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize