Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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