Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
