There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
