Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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