I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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