Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
