WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
