He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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