I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
