Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
