Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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