i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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