OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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