he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
