We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
