well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
