Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Help. Why am I so naked?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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