I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
