you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
