i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize