Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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