i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
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we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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