This is not my ceiling
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
