I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
