Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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