her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
