I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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