My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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