i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
