From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
