Sponge bath it is.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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