Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
