I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
