Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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