oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
