There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
