the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
