just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
