Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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